Interview with a Psycho

Strange as it may seem, I still regularly keep in touch with my high school English teacher.  Her name is Ms. Chambliss, she's about 180 years old, three times a divorcee, and yet has more pep in her walk and more edge to her mind than my graduating class in its totality.  Chamby, as those few of us who could get away with it liked to call her, is certainly an acquired taste; her name was often used as a measure of hyperbole to describe something terrifying ("you better not hit on his girl again, he'll go Chambliss on your ass").  But I adored her.


So I recently e-mailed Chamby to touch base and let her know how everything was going for me.  I told her that this summer I had failed a class, and her response led to a back-and-forth between us that would not be at all a stretch to call an "interview."

In high school, Ms. Chambliss had been a stickler for not only attendance but attentiveness in class.  She swore by discipline and studiousness, and that's why I was shocked to read her response to my failing a class:  "Great job, party on!"  I took this as a tongue-in-cheek reprimand, and responded that, while I had certainly caught the college party bug this summer, I wouldn't let it get the best of me.  Again, she responded in her usual eccentric manner:

"I'm happy for you that your grades slipped because you discovered partying. Keep it up! Grades can be negotiated, but partying is #1.  All work and no play makes Jake a dull boy. You can do both and be successful, Honey Chile. It looks as though you are headed for a career in writing/teaching, and I can guarantee it will make you feel rewarded in some strange way. Take care."

I'm still not sure what she means, but as our e-mail "interview" continues, I'm actually starting to think she's being literal rather than sarcastic.  And if she is, it just shows not only that her reputation for slight psychosis is well-earned, but that the guise people present when they're in professional 9 to 5 mode is not always who they really are after they punch out for the day.